Missing My Mummy

As a Christian woman, my journey towards healing from  trauma is a testament to the power of reflection, faith, and divine guidance. In this poignant narrative, I unravel the tangled  threads of past wounds, drawing lessons from the Lord, therapy,  and personal introspection. 

Motherhood is hard and especially becoming a mother for the  first time- yet there are not enough spaces to talk about the  happenings in the brain powered by crazy hormonal fluctuations,  her relationship with the baby’s father, past experiences, their relationship with their own mother’s, past wounding, navigating  their present life circumstances, financial stress, mental health and  how all this affect her mothering. For some, the issue is not that  they don’t want to be mothers but that they have been carrying pain resentment for years past and it ends up pouring out of them to everyone around them including their newborn. 

My reassurance is that there is a way out, it is hard but God walks with us. Leaning on Him and learning how to unravel the  unspoken, retrieve long-forgotten memories, admitting  disappointments, hurts and pains and getting to the root of it will be necessary whether through prayer, therapy, journaling, conversations. And more but in that there is deep freedom. The Bible tells us to confess our sins to one another and be healed - There is nothing that cannot be mentioned in a safe space,  speaking about things makes them lose the hold of fear and terror  over us. 

As long as I cannot admit that something is a problem, it will always BE a problem

- Preston Morrison ( How to be Set Free from Fear 42:26)  (Morrison)